By Sunday afternoon, I was in a pool in Boca tossing my daughter and her cousin into the air, and they couldn't stop laughing. Getting there was another story.

Family get-togethers always seem to zap my weekends. They're also always worth it.

All week, I dreaded the 45-minute drive up to my sister's house. Not because I don't love spending time with my family. I've got my 2-year-old daughter, Radley, on a routine, and routines matter for toddlers and working parents.

But here's what also matters: time with family, especially the cousins. Rad has two cousins within a year of her age and a 5-month-old baby cousin, and my brother, sister, and I grew up two years apart. I want her to have what we had. Multiple studies I've come across show how much time with grandparents, cousins, and extended family can shape a child's well-being.

I'm a grouch who complains far too much about giving up my limited time off work, and I'm stupid for it. If you're like me, I hope this little story catches your attention and gives you a reason to check your negativity.

The Sunday Scaries

I hate doing anything on Sundays. Friday night? OK, I still have two full days ahead of me. Saturday afternoon? Hell yeah, I can sleep in tomorrow. Sunday, the day of the Sunday Scaries? I guess that speaks for itself.

A decade into my career, it's beyond stupid for me to still feel that way. I know dreading work is the one surefire way to guarantee a hard start to my week.

Now throw in a 45-minute drive squeezed between my daughter's naptime and bathtime. A study by researchers at University College London, published in the journal Pediatrics, found that children with irregular bedtimes are more likely to have behavioral difficulties.

"Not having fixed bedtimes, accompanied by a constant sense of flux, induces a state of body and mind akin to jet lag and this matters for healthy development and daily functioning," professor Yvonne Kelly of UCL's Department of Epidemiology and Public Health said in a release announcing the findings. "We know that early child development has profound influences on health and wellbeing across the life course. It follows that disruptions to sleep, especially if they occur at key times in development, could have important lifelong impacts on health."

And on top of that, I'm hauling my in-laws along for the ride.

I feel like a jerk typing this because I love my wife's parents. They've treated me like a son since the day we met, my wife is amazing in so many ways because of how they raised her, and my God, are they great with my daughter.

But do I want to listen to my mother-in-law (we playfully call her the Queen of Questions) ask 1,000 random questions about our upcoming vacation? It's funny, because I learned about plans I didn't even know I had. And my father-in-law's social media algorithm blasting over my Oasis playlist and Google Maps? It could all drive me batty.

Then I hear my daughter giggling at the faces my father-in-law makes at her. "You're silly, Grandpa!" She tells my mother-in-law all about how much she likes her dentist and how she wants to take her shoes off. In a lot of ways, my in-laws have raised her nearly as much as my wife and I have.

Between the end of my wife's maternity leave and the start of preschool, Radley spent every workday at their house, and research suggests that's a very good thing for her.

A national survey led by Oxford University and the Institute of Education, London found that grandparents who are involved in raising their grandchildren can contribute to a child's well-being.

Oxford's announcement of the findings put it plainly: "Grandma and Grandpa Are Good for Children." The survey focused on kids ages 11 to 16, but I can already see it at 2.

"We were surprised by the huge amount of informal caring that the grandparents were doing and how in some cases they were filling the parenting gap for hard working parents," Ann Buchanan, the Oxford professor who led the research, said in the release. "Closeness was not enough: only grandparents who got stuck in and did things with their grandchildren had this positive impact on their grandchildren."

Pool party in Boca

When we got to my sister's house, there was extended family everywhere celebrating my brother-in-law's 42nd birthday. His sister, her husband, and their three kids came in from Texas. My mom was there, plus my brother, his son, who's two weeks older than Rad, and his 5-month-old daughter. Then there was my sister and their son, who's almost a year older than Rad.

It was a pool party, and everyone was having a great time. We brought our bathing suits, and Radley loves the water. They have a kid-sized basketball hoop by the pool, and Rad had a blast with me lifting her up so she could slam-dunk the ball.

Then came the part I opened with: the kids laughing as I threw them in the air to splash back down into the water. Later, they played with toys in the playroom while the adults ate and watched. It's pretty clear how well they play together being so close in age.

Researchers see it too.

A study of young adults in the U.S. published in the journal Adolescents found that cousins act as sources of emotional support, practical help, and mentoring, and can be emotional resources through different stages of life.

Why the cousins matter

My brother, sister, and I are each two years apart. My sister is the oldest, I'm the middle, and our brother is the youngest. We all graduated from college, got married, bought homes, had our first kids, and dealt with our parents' divorce together.

So many good and hard times have been easier to navigate with someone close going through them too. Our parents were 19 and 20 when they got married because they were pregnant with my sister. We didn't have a lot of money growing up. You'd think at least one of us would've turned out to be a screwup.

Honestly, the closest thing to a black sheep is me: the high school dropout, tattooed, rebellious writer and musician. But, dude, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't successful. I'm a homeowner, a college graduate, a husband, and an ambitious family man. I credit a lot of that to a good foundation and love.

If there's a reason to sweat out the frustration of a long drive on a Sunday, it's that: keeping the love in a family strong. The drives with Grandma and Grandpa in the backseat, the laughing and goofing around in the pool, the sharing toys while the grown-ups talk. She probably won't remember this Sunday. Days like it are still building her sense of safety and family.

Will I complain before the next get-together? Probably. When I do, I want to remember this Sunday. If you've read this far and you're a grump bucket too, heed my words: Your kid will be better off if you kick back, keep driving your family to the function, and smile while you're talking with the people you love.

Someday some of those people won't be here anymore, and you'll be glad you didn't back out of plans.